The Mystery of the Bootleg WoW Costumes

So for people who don't sew, you probably are not familiar with sewing patterns. Traditionally, the way you picked them out was to go down to the fabric store where you would find a section of the store with some tables with these big catalog books. The books are put out by each company and have pictures of each of the patterns that are currently in print. You leafed through, found something you wanted, noted the number, and found the corresponding pattern in the filing cabinets full of the actual pattern.

What was always amusing to me about this system was the blatant knockoffs of whatever big movie came out that year. Simplicity is not the only offender, but they're the ones that stick in my mind the most. There's just something about the lazy level of obfuscation in selling what is clearly based on the Lord of the Rings but scrawling "QUEST FOR THE RING" or something across the page. They also have a somewhat more sneaky approach by having the main picture be something generic, but then showing you how a simple change of colors can make it into a beloved film character.



Oh look, you can be I guess Jacob Marley or some Victorian creepster or oh wait, is that Willy Wonka from the terrible film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Nah, couldn't be.

Also amusing: as of this writing they still make their Totally Not The Matrix pattern.

So now that I mostly buy vintage patterns at thrift stores/am trying to move away from printed patterns/have the internet I don't go down to the pattern section, or indeed even the fabric store, that much any more. But I remember a particular incident from my college years. I was leafing through the pattern books at Wal-Mart as I was wont to do, and I came across this gem:




It looks like a generic fantasy costume, but I assure you that this and the dude version are very specifically billed as "Warriors in Cyberspace." That's right, these are World of Warcraft knockoff costume patterns.

However, unlike Totally Not The Matrix and It Isn't the Joker You Guys plus bonus Not the Riddler, they don't still make this pattern. It was available for a little while, and then it was taken off the market. The Simplicity catalogs at the time all had the same page ripped out. I can't find any info on what became of Simplicty 4088 or whatever number the men's version was. It's just gone. I can only assume Blizzard made some kind of copyright claim.

Pattern Fight!

So my recent trip to Pennsylvania to visit relatives further reinforced a bizarre hypothesis I had first posed in Boone, NC: thrift stores in hick towns have the best haul. Now, I don't know the distribution models, but I have to assume that the items in thrift stores are donated locally, and people in hick towns have limited access to the good stuff, and, to make a terrible generalization, have no taste. And yet there's a high frequency of Banana Republic stuff and one time a tank top from Top Shop down at Ram's Rack.

So we went to this place in a neighboring town (I guess slightly better because it had a movie theater) which had an extremely sweet haul. My limited funds and even more limited closet space prohibited me from stocking up on old bowling shirts, the most ridiculous fur coat in the world (only $10) and some sweet hats, but I did pick up two vintage patterns AND a Vogue Issey Miyake pattern for like two bucks. Awesome!

Which brings us to the bout of the century: Pattern Fight. I'm going to to construct both of these patterns on this very blog. The winner, voted on by MY FAITHFUL READERS (both of you?) gets worn to this wedding I gotta go to. Let's meet the contenders!


Team Simplicity 4944:
This copacetic little bird may be getting up there in years, but we still think it's the berries. It didn't come with the original envelope and there's no date printed on the directions. The company also had two other patterns with the same number which complicates finding information. Judging by the price (65 cents) and the cut I'm going to guess late 60s or 70s. I'm going to go for View 1, but I'll probably revisit 2 in the future if it comes out okay.

Team Vogue 2556:
This pattern is stiff competition, due to the involvement of big name Japanese designer Issey Miyake, who survived the atomic bomb to give the world the Pleats Please collection. But like so much high fashion, is this 2001 pattern too funky for its own good? I say the crazier the better, but I am concerned about the potential waist-negating effect. I'll be doing the dress A, the skirt is not a length that suits me and I can't afford to make a thing AND furnish my own top.

The fabric for 2556 has been ordered and construction will begin once it arrives and I track down some elusive snap tape. For 4944 I'll check around the house and see if any of my existing stash is up to the task. Gentlemen, the game is afoot.