Boys

Choice quotes from messages sent to me on OKCupid, months after I had started seeing my current beau and updated my profile to reflect that.

"You sound awesome except that you don't like puppies. What's up with that?"

"you are yummy"

"i love ur eyes & smile..
i think you are very sexy
tell me more about you."

"And then I see that you're seeing someone. Son of a. Perhaps sometime we will meet on the same stage while doing comedy. Or at a store. Either or.

You still interest me though. There. I said it. It has been said."

First guy, I have a phobia of dogs.

Second and third are the type of generic, low content messages that will never get you an internet girl of any reasonable quality level. It is also hard to believe that anyone finds the picture of me in my loud Wal-Mart children's hoodie holding the most hilariously bad painting known to man "sexy."

I kind of admire last dude for his hopeful transmission into the aether. I feel like if he thought he had a chance he would have sent a proper message, but he knows the score. They have a saying in Norway: those who holler in the woods are answered. I wish him the best.

Eagle Vs. Shark

If you haven't seen Eagle Vs. Shark, I highly recommend it. It's a romantic comedy from New Zealand has that sort of very awkward Napoleon Dynamite-style humor, but the story is a bit more sophisticated and it has actual emotional content. And it's got Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords!

Anyway, my boyfriend was the recipient of some pretty bad news recently on the job hunt front, and while pastries do not fill the same function as gainful employment I thought I would bake him something to cheer him up.

A little about me, I took some cake decorating classes in middle school--made it through Wilton level 3--and while I am super rusty I can still do an icing rose if I absolutely have to. The problem with cake decorating is I'm too lazy to do a proper job of it and cleaning tips afterward is not my idea of a good time. I decided to make the cake Lily makes for Jarrod in Eagle Vs. Shark since it's supposed to look like an unskilled home job. And here is the result of my efforts:


Obviously his name isn't Jarrod, but I think it's a pretty good likeness. For reference, and so I don't end up on Cake Wrecks for reasons other than being awesome, here is the original cake from the film.

MAC ATTACK!

When I was a kid, my dad was able to borrow Macintosh computers from work, so I was used to having a pretty nice (for the time) computer. I was also able to skip the awkward DOS phase of PCs. Unfortunately, being a Mac user invited the scorn of the other children. I never understood this, because the OS was pleasantly Windows 2000y, and the other kids said that there were no games and I was all, what?

Now I chew through games like a bag of Cheetos, always demanding content and progress, but when I was a kid I could spend months if not years on a demo alone. Back in the 90s, there was actually a pretty vibrant shareware community for the Mac. This was before the spread of the web, so you would get these discs (floppy and later compact) full of demos and sometimes full games, which you could then get the full version by mailing some dude a check. Yeah, really. I'm not totally sure where the discs came from.

I will probably write about such gems as Scarab of RA, Taskmaker, and Escape Velocity at a later date, but today I was compelled to post because I remembered this weird one called Weekend Warrior. You were on some kind of surreal game show with a cast of waaaaacky contestants to choose from. Here's the official site, Mac users without compatibility issues can play it for free. I thought of it because there's one level in which you have to grab some plutonium (or was it uranium?) and upon getting it the weird announcer dude says "now you're cooking with plutonium!" which is something that's always stuck with me, for some reason. I find that it has worked its way into my rolodex of catch phrases. It's always the weird quotes that stick with you.